Self-Published and Vanity Press Need Apply

I get a lot of e-mails asking me to read stuff.  Some of them are from major publishers, but the vast majority are from self-published authors looking for a review to hang their hat on.  I struggle with those requests.  On the one hand, I think self-publishing is a perfectly legitimate path, assuming the authors recognize the hurdles they'll have to overcome and the reason they are self-publishing in the first place.  On the other, there's no arbiter of goodness and thus, most of them aren't very good.  If some are good, but most are bad, and no one will risk their time to review them, how do these authors find success?  Unfortunately, they don't (mostly).  It's a vicious cycle, a self fulfilling prophecy, a catch-22!

Here's where I come in.  First, let me make something very clear, I will not review self-published work any other time except through posts like this one.  I get a ton to read through my own purchases and review copies from the big (medium and small) presses.  I'm carving out this slot because I want to be supportive of the community.  Second, I'm not going to sugarcoat anything.  I won't Liz Bourke you, but I'm going to be critical, and may even mock you a little bit (example, example).  If it's great, I'll say that instead and sing your praises from the mountaintops of Twitter, Goodreads, and Amazon.

Without further ado, here's the deal:

• If you'd like me to review your book, comment on this post.
• I will choose one (1) winner via random draw.
• In your comment provide me a way to contact you, your book's title, and a very brief description of the book.
• I will actually buy your book (if it's for sale), so this is also a sale!
• I will only read books with SFF elements.
• If you're writing paranormal romance, be aware it's not my cup of tea.  If I randomly select your PNR book, the odds of me liking it are slimmer.  I'll still review it, but it may not be pleasant.
• The offer will be open until February 16 -- that's two weeks from today.
• I'll announce the winner on Friday, February 17 and I commit to having a review of the work done by month's end.

I toyed around with trying to do this last year, but wasn't sure how I wanted to work it.  If it goes well, I'll do it again some time in the future.  If nobody comments, I'm going to feel like a jack-ass.  With that in mind, who wants to be first?